Source: My own opinion and experiences
Introduction
Understanding that it’s both exciting and scary!
Why is it important?
The first thing I learned about turning twenty, is that you suddenly have to get your shit together. You’re no longer in high school or the main cookie in the jar. This means you have to start all over. I finished in 2018 and started university in 2019. Now it may be different for everyone but my journey from adolescence to adulthood started off a bit rocky. I was raised in a very protective and safe home – which meant my only responsibilities were to do my homework and pass my exams.
More and more responsibilities
Entering my twenties meant I was suddenly bombarded with more expectations and responsibilities. This included taking care of myself cooking, cleaning, buying groceries, spending money with care, more independence and finding my way in a new town/environment. In short, I had a mental breakdown, also due to unresolved mental issues building up. I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, OCD and bipolar tendencies, so eventually I cracked. I couldn’t handle everything changing so suddenly. Now, you may be asking, what the hell? Is this what it’s going to be for everyone? Well, the good news is no.
Then…Is this how adulting works?
Luckily no, eventually with time things work out as they should. Everyone’s journey is different. However, it is a difficult process in the beginning that becomes easier with time. You need to remember that you are now entering a whole new world. Some have dreamed about it and others not so much (I was that person, I wanted to stay a child forever).
But…I am a therapist…shouldn’t I’ve been, okay?
Because I’ve been studying Psychology, most would have assumed that I’d have no mental issues whatsoever, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. It’s like saying a doctor can’t get sick or a financial adviser can’t struggle with money. The point is, it’s been hard but at the end of the day it made me a better person with more empathy, wisdom and kindness. I slowly but surely started to see the bigger picture.
Who the fuck am I and what shapes my future?
Where am I in terms of Identity?
According to Erik Erikson’s theory being in your twenties means you are now in the life position of intimacy vs isolation. This means that you are now at the crossroads of whether you want to share your life with a partner or be on your own. This is different for everyone and influences who you are going to be as time goes on. Will your identity extend to a husband/wife, bachelor/bachelorette, single, workaholic? It’s up to you and your needs. For me, I wanted a relationship very badly. I based my whole identity on this and even though it happened way later than I expected, I realized in the end it worked out for the better and I became emotionally more mature and ready. The thing is, you still have to give yourself the space to develop who you are regardless of a partner or not. I learned that eventually.
What does it mean being in your 20s for your future?
What I realised is that being in your twenties is a phase in your life where a lot can happen and be achieved. Most are determining their potential or are still in progress of figuring it out. For me it was an exciting time to try new hobbies and boost my knowledge in the field I was interested in and studied. Today as a practising counsellor I realised it was exactly what I wanted to do but I wasn’t completely satisfied. That’s the beauty of this phase, you can try many new things while still establishing your position in society. For example, one of my other goals, is to go into the field of medicine and pursue psychiatry. I mean why not? I’ve got nothing to lose. Dream big!
Being 20 in this Generation
Society expects and puts a lot of pressure on today’s young adults. The unwritten rule is still roaming the halls of having to get married very young, already have yourself figured out in your career, having a house, car and everything in between. What I’ve seen is that it is slowly changing though. Now it is up to everyone to decide for themselves. In my case, I’m still building my career and relationship and I’m already 25. And that is okay. For me, it’s about the journey and finding the right partner who loves me, even though it took a bit longer to get there. You don’t have to have everything under control at 20. Some folks get settled at 40 and are still happy. So fuck society’s unrealistic expectations.
What about Finances!?
A very important and big topic is money. Suddenly you have to start saving up and pay new expenses you never had to pay before. Your parents used to take care of all that. However, some us are still lucky to have support from our parents and don’t need to carry everything on our own at once. Be incredibly thankful for that cause not everyone is so lucky. I am one of those fortunate people, I am currently in that position but I’m starting to see the importance of saving and budgeting. In my opinion, the best thing to do regarding money in your 20s is to start planning ahead and try your best to not be in debt. It’s not too early to think about retirement and save up for your most important needs. But also enjoy it!
Conclusion
In the end, what you make of your twenties is up to you! No one can tell you how/what to do with that. Just remember, you are only twenty once. Enjoy it but also be responsible.
What do you think? Comment below!
- What are the most important things to focus on while in your 20s?
- How can I manage my finances better during this decade?
- Is it normal to feel lost or uncertain in my 20s?
- What resources are available for mental health support?